When Feelings Become a Game of Hot Potato

Have you ever watched your child lose at their favourite board game and suddenly burst out with "But they cheated!" or "It's not fair!"? If you're nodding along, you're not alone - we've all been there!

Just as we played Pass the Parcel at birthday parties (and secretly hoped the music would stop when the gift reached us), our children experience pleasant feelings they want to hold onto. But it's those tricky, uncomfortable emotions that often lead to behaviours we'd rather not see.

Think of it like a game of Hot Potato. When children experience disappointment, failure, or frustration, their instinct is to chuck these feelings away as quickly as possible - rather like that scorching spud we frantically passed around in playground games! They might blame siblings, accuse friends of cheating, or become short-tempered. Sound familiar?

The trouble is, when we encourage children to pass along their unpleasant feelings (or do it ourselves - guilty as charged!), we're essentially creating a circle of negativity. That moment of relief they feel after blaming someone else is fleeting, and meanwhile, we've just passed the 'hot potato' to another person.

As parents, we have a brilliant opportunity to help our children learn healthier ways to handle these challenging emotions. Rather than letting them play emotional hot potato, we can guide them towards understanding and managing their feelings in ways that don't spread upset to others.

Next time your little one experiences disappointment, remember: sometimes it's better to help them hold their hot potato until it cools down, rather than rushing to pass it on.

Fancy sharing your experiences? How does your child handle tricky emotions? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!