Understanding Emotional Flavours: Helping Your Child Navigate Emotions

Understanding Emotional Flavours: A Guide for Parents of Primary School Children

Introduction

As parents, we often encounter various challenges when it comes to understanding and managing our children's emotions. One helpful way to approach this is through the metaphor of flavours, using something familiar and enjoyable, like jellybeans, to explain the diversity of emotions we all experience.

The Theme of Flavours

Imagine a colourful assortment of jellybean flavours. Some are delightful, sweet, and exactly what we crave, while others are less pleasant, perhaps even downright unpleasant. This metaphor serves as an excellent way to help children understand that life, much like a bag of jellybeans, is full of varied emotional experiences. Some days are filled with happiness and joy, akin to our favourite flavours, while others bring feelings we'd rather avoid, like the jellybeans we leave untouched.

Recognising and Managing Emotional Visitors

Just as we don't always get to choose our favourite jellybean flavours, we can't always choose to feel happy. It's essential for children to learn that all emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, are natural and temporary. When we experience emotions that are less than pleasant, we can recognise them as temporary "visitors."

One key practice to help children manage their emotions is to acknowledge them. Encourage your child to say, "I am feeling [emotion] right now, but it won't last forever." This simple act of naming the emotion can reduce its power and help your child understand that negative feelings, like unpleasant jellybean flavours, will pass.

Lazy 8 Breathing Technique

A practical tool that can be incredibly effective in managing uncomfortable emotions is the Lazy 8 Breathing technique. Here’s how it works:

• Imagine or draw a number eight on its side (∞).
• Place your finger in the centre of your palm or on the back of your arm.
• Slowly trace the shape of the lazy eight with your finger.
• Inhale deeply as you trace the first half of the eight.
• Exhale slowly as you complete the second half.

At home, you can practice this with your child by drawing the lazy eight on each other's backs. This technique not only helps in calming the mind but also promotes deep breathing, which is crucial for emotional regulation.

Practical Tips for Deep Breathing

When practicing deep breathing, it's helpful to ensure that the breath reaches deep into the belly rather than staying shallow in the chest. Here are some tips to guide your child:

• Place one hand on the chest and the other on the belly.
• Inhale deeply through the nose, allowing the belly to rise while keeping the chest relatively still.
• Exhale fully through the mouth, feeling the belly fall.

Encourage your child to practice this deep breathing regularly, perhaps while waiting for the kettle to boil, during car rides, or at any other idle moment. This habit can become a reliable tool for managing emotions throughout the day.

Conclusion

By understanding and practicing these techniques, you and your child can navigate the "flavours" of emotional experiences more effectively. Remember, just like the assortment of jellybeans, life brings a mix of emotions, each one contributing to the richness of our experiences. Embrace them all, knowing that the less pleasant flavours will pass, making room for the sweet ones to be enjoyed.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful jellybean day, filled with all the flavours that life brings. Take care and see you again soon!

Like this? Why don't you come and find lots of resources and support in the Learnful Family. We meet once a month online to share practices, tips and a have a chat about parent self-regulation.

I'd love to see you there,

Jo :-)